Chorus: [wearing masks] Act One. A tale of love!
Jeffrey: [steps out of chorus, removes mask] I want to tell you. I love my family. My wife. She's so ____. You know? And I'm sorry to be all ___ here. But I really do have such ____ friends. Such a _____ family. My mother. She's _____. My father. He's. Well. He's ____, you know, like usual, but it's just fine. And everyone really. Just. Well. Look. You just don't know do you? Someday you might suddenly _____. You never know. And why worry? Right? Why get yourself into a ____. All ____ about whatever right? Theoretically, wouldn't it be easier just to ____ and not think about it. But you can't. You can't not ____, man. Because. Well. Just Because. [beat] I ___ing love these people so much I can't stand it.
[Lights change. Chorus moves next to Jeffrey. Chorus Member hands a bag of animal crackers to Jeffrey]
Chorus: Act Two: A tale of eating!
Chorus Member 1: Riddle!
Chorus Member 2: What is the most loveable of all things?
Jeffrey: Kittens. [beat] Puppies. [beat] Babies of some sort
Chorus Member 3: And babies are so loveable...
ALL: ...that you want to put them in your mouth.
Jeffrey: [Jeffrey eats animal crackers & talks; Chorus Member 4 holds up posterboard subtitles of these lines as Jeffrey stuffs mouth] You want to take the little fuckers and just cram them into your mouth. You want to eat them. This is why we kiss people. Because we want to eat them. Really, kissing is just deferred eating. If we ate those we loved, we couldn't love them anymore. So we kiss... out of restraint.
Chorus Member 1: Love
Chorus Member 2: Gluttony
Chorus: One and the same.
Chorus Member 3: Lust!
Chorus Member 4: Gluttony!
Chorus: One and the same. One and the same. [repeat, fading, exiting off-stage, except Chorus Member . Lights only on Jeffrey.]
Chorus Member 3: Act Three: The Bullhorn Voice Surrogate
[Chorus Member 3 says the following into a bullhorn. Jeffrey stands in a spotlight looking at the audience as if he were saying these words, gesticulating, making eye-contact. They are his words, after all.]
The thing about _____ is that no matter how full, you are always ______. And maybe that's not a bad thing.[beat] Is that moralizing? I'm sorry. I don't want to be ______ about it. [pause] Well, I guess that's all. Oh. I almost forgot. I don't say this enough to you. You in the audience. You who are loved (by someone, I'm sure). Thank you. [Jeffrey starts to leave, stops, turns back around]. Thank you. [Jeffrey exits]